The Buckeye State

State capital of Ohio: Columbus.  Probably the best place to visit in Ohio.  I would throw Canton up there, to see the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  Other than that, pretty shitty state.  I’ve done the drive through Ohio, I-70, nothing gave me a chub, not even a small one.  Except for the hot cop (they have a history) (not the specific hot cop, just in general) that gave me a ticket for going 3 over the speed limit, on a highway.

 

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For GameDay to be rolling in to Columbus for a second time this year is insane.  I have to say, it is not for Ohio State, but for the Nittany Lions.  Best two ranked teams in field for this week.  Also, was completely confused why the game is at 3:30, but the Fall Classic is happening.  Makes sense, Go Astros.

Since there isn’t much to talk about like Urban Meyer leaving UF because he was banging his daughters sorority sisters, let’s get in to what to do.  Pretty solid Health Issue if you as me.

 

Soroity

 

Campus:

About 2 miles north of downtown Columbus.  I would check out Thompson Memorial Library, holy building.  Looks sick as shit.  Its been a minute since I’ve entered a library.  I used to be kinda obsessed with them, why? I got that bitches V-Card at the age of 14.

The Ariel view of the campus also looks intriguing.  I would take a gander at campus, as every campus is different,  I bet Ohio State has some pretty cool attributes.

 

library

 

Where to eat:

Breakfast:

Buckeye Donuts:

What the fuck is a Buckeye again?  Who gives a fuck, DONUTS.  I love how people pick on Cops because they’re known for their coffee and donuts.  You’re telling me, if you were known to love donuts (which you should be, if you’re American) and someone made a jab at you for it, you would get mad? I wouldn’t give a single fuck if someone made fun of me for that, its DONUTS. DELICIOUS.

 

Hang Over Easy:

If the name doesn’t explain itself, then go back to grade school.  HANG OVER, which every person in town for this tilt (hockey term, but like the word choice) this weekend will be.  EASY, google it if you don’t understand it. Fuckin idiot. This place is only open till 3pm, won’t tell you the open time because you won’t be awake and fully functioning when they do.  I’m a fan of these breakfast/brunch places only open till 2-3pm, they have perfected their breakfast/lunch foods, you can’t go wrong.  Especially when hung over. You could do a seasoned veteran move and keep the party going with an alcoholic beverage with your french toast.

 

Dinner Spot:

Refectory Restaurant:

Another dinner only restaurant.  Expensive.  I’m a big believer in doing a nice sit down dinner Friday night, before a College Football weekend.  Looks intense, but if Im in Ohio for more than just driving through the shitty state, I might as well try out one of the best restaurants in the birthplace of Aviation.

 

 

Lunch/Dinner/Drunk Spots:

Hot Chicken Takeover:

Fried Chicken+Football Town= America.  I love me some Popeye’s, but if there is a mom and pop shop, that is bumpin? You know damn well, I’m Tokyo driftin my ass in to their parking lot.  Fried chicken, as it seems simple, it’s about the seasoning, but to me it’s not all about that.  It’s the sides, mashed potatoes and gravy with a kick.  Rice and beans.  BISCUITS, at least 3….5, yep, 35.

 

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Adriaticos New York Style Pizza:

I get why people put New York Style Pizza, because they think big.  But some places just do a large 16″ pizza.  That ain’t shit.  28″ Pizza is big.  When you have to customize order your pizza boxes, I want a slice.  They seem to do rectangular pizzas, I’m a fan of a local chain in VA, but would have to try out myself to make the call.  Open late, so show up drunk and get a pie.

 

Condado Tacos:

You all should know by now.  Any Mexican food place is my favorite spots to check out.  It might just be the tequila you need once or twice a weekend in a drink form known as a margarita on the rocks, no salt with a floater of Grand Marnier.  Not that ive ordered one before.  With a side of tacos or enchiladas.  Check the place out, it won’t disappoint.

 

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Melt Bar & Grilled:

Love a good deli.  This place has everything, seriously everything.  Along with it being a melt.  Wake & BACon…. get it?  This place looks incredible.  They have multiple locations, I wouldn’t take that in to consideration other than they are successful.  I am a believer in one local spots, but it being in all of Ohio.  I believland. Wonder if LeBron has been here? Jk, he doesn’t like to be in the hairline, I mean, headlines.

BARS:

Old North Arcade:

Ok, I know its College Football Saturday and NFL Sunday, this place opens at 12pm on the weekends.  Check this place out, OLD SCHOOL arcade games, like OLD school, but you can drink.  Visited a place like this in Chapel Hill, NC, showed up on a Sunday, parents were drinking watching football and their annoying fucking kids were playing games the whole time.  HINT TO BUSINESS: $1.50 fireball/cheap alcohol shots, cash only (if you’re the owner, you know) weekends from 12-5pm, give 2 quarters back so kids get to play a couple more games and parents can relax! Bartenders, sorry but they’ll give you more tip on final bill, hopefully. Cheap Fucks.

 

North High Brewing:

Big craft brew guy.  If you are visiting, check this place out.  Patio and all. Not a fan of beer? They have a full bar as well, which is hard to find.  If you’re like me, this is a placeis the best of both worlds.  Don’t have 15 IPAs and expect to walk out of the bar, unless your name is Doc Holliday.

 

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Brothers Drake:

Interested in some live music instead of the Fall Classic or college football late Saturday night? This spot will have your needs!  Unless its Garth Brooks, the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, or John fuckin Mellencamp, I won’t be anywhere near a live music venue when there is College Football and the World Series on at the same time.  Apparently 210 people are interested in the band playing Saturday night……. I’m assuming the other 1,000,000 people in town that day have decided to do other things.  Who would have thought?

 

Village Idiot:

HA! Sounds like a watering hole my ass would roll to.  Which it is.  TVs and a hole in the wall.  Love it.  Especially when GameDay is in town.  This place will be rocking.  Drinks, College Chicks, Alumnus, and sports.  This is the place to be.

 

Ugly Tuna Saloon:

I’m catching a pretty solid trend in Ohio, BARS, that mostly serve drinks than food, open late during the week and early on the weekends.  Another reason, shitty state.  Sometimes I just want to eat at a bar, for lunch.  Is that so hard to ask?  UPSIDE, to this, is these bars that do open later, are probably stacked with people and entertainment.  This excerpt on the Ugly Tuna Saloon, is pretty much what I suspect this place is.

 

Notable Alumni:

Cris Carter: Former NFL Football player, Pro Football Hall of Fame.

George Steinbrenner: Former owner of the New York Yankees. Dynasty, by pure stats, you play for the NYY, you have a 1 in 4 chance of winning the World Series.

Nick Swisher: Former MLB baseball fielder and World Series champion with NYY. (see above)

Jack Nicklaus: The Golden Bear, aka still the best golfer that ever lived….Tiger, you need 5 more to be the best.  I don’t mean Perkins waitresses you fuck.

They have like 6 Heisman trophy winners but I watched RG3 and unless you’re in the Hall of Fame then, congrats you won a trophy for being great in college and never excelling in your career.

9 Pro Football Hall of Famers.  SPIN ZONE(Credit: Pardon My Take): None won the Heisman. Granted, they could be inducted later but……I doubt that.

 

George W. Bush

Penn State upset Ohio State in Happy Valley a year ago.  They want revenge, they will be at home. OSU is giving 6.5 points.  Penn State knows how much this game means to them.

Have fun this weekend.  Drink a lot, sorry Buckeyes, but I’m on the Penn State train

Nick Stan TTT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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